The Adultery of Divorce & God’s Design for Marriage | Student Ministries

Dear Student Ministry Parents

On Sunday evening, we jumped back into the exposition of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, looking at His words on marriage and divorce in Matthew 5:31-32. This was a weighty topic but an important one for the students to align their view of marriage with God’s.

What particularly struck me during my study, preaching, and then interaction with the students after the lesson is the relevance of Jesus’ words for all of us. This isespeciallytrue for students who are not yet married but whose decisions regarding sexual purity, dating, and pursuit (or lack thereof) of marriage are influenced by their view of marriage.

At their age, students constantly absorb messages about relationships from media, friends, and even family. Their worldview is being shaped, often by perspectives contrary to Scripture. Jesus’ teaching offers a countercultural view, showing marriage as a God-ordained covenant—permanent, exclusive, and sacred. God makes two into one, a bond that man must not break.

Jesus’ words call us to honor marriage, not just in our actions but in our hearts. The Pharisees taught that divorce was permissible for trivial reasons, but Jesus emphasized that marriage is a sacred bond created by God, not a mere contract to be easily dissolved. Unbiblical divorce leads to adultery because it disregards the covenant commitment made before God. Jesus’ correction here in Matthew 5, expanded in Matthew 19, roots itself in God’s original design for marriage that Christians must be committed to if we are going to stand out as salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16, see that sermon).

I encouraged the students that having God’s view of marriage matters deeply for how they live today. It affects:

• How they pursue purity now – guarding heart, eyes, and body – as an act of faithfulness to their future spouse, even before knowing who that person is
• How they approach dating – not as casual entertainment, but seriously and under parental guidance, with marriage as the purpose
• How they resist cultural lies that reduce relationships to self-gratification, especially the massive industry telling young men that women exist to fulfill desires
• How they understand that marriage is more than a legal arrangement – it’s a supernatural joining by God that creates an inseparable, permanent bond
• How they view marriage as a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for His church, which shapes their understanding of love and commitment now

The gospel gives us hope. While God’s standard is high and we all fall short, Christ’s death and resurrection provide both forgiveness and the power to live differently. As I shared with the students, they were bought with a price; therefore, they can glorify God with their bodies today (1 Cor 6:20), whether or not marriage is in their future.

You can listen to the sermon, watch the video, or read a transcript at our website. Then please review our discussion guide with some questions to help draw out your students on what they learned and how it should affect them. These should help you be able to better disciple your child toward a heart-level commitment to the Biblical view of marriage and the life that should result.

Here are some ways to follow up with your student this week:

1. Discuss God’s High View of Marriage
   
   1. Ask your student how Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:31–32 challenges the world’s casual view of marriage
   2. Talk about how purity today prepares them for faithfulness in marriage later.
2. Encourage Heart-Level Reflection
   1. Ask: What steps can we take as a family to guard our hearts and minds against the culture’s low view of marriage?
   2. Discuss the importance of boundaries to guard against sin, such as lust or selfishness, and how these boundaries honor God’s design for relationships.
3. Point Them to the Gospel
   1. Remind your student that we all fall short of God’s perfect standard, but the gospel gives hope. Through Christ, we are forgiven, freed from sin’s power, and empowered to live in purity and faithfulness (Titus 2:11-12, Galatians 5:24-25, etc).
   2. Share how the gospel has impacted your own view of marriage or relationships.
   3. Speak specifically about strategies to pursue holiness through faith in the gospel, and help them know the importance of confession and faith (1 John 1:9-2:2) when there is sin. Invite them to involve you early in that.

I recognize these conversations aren’t always easy, but they’re invaluable. If you’d like to discuss how to approach these topics with your student or have questions about the content we covered, please reach out to me or your student’s discussion group leader. We’re here to support you—to come alongside you—as you fulfill your God-given duty and privilege to disciple your children toward a biblical understanding of pleasing God through sexual purity and marriage. May our thoughts be aligned with His Word. Thank you for entrusting me and the fantastic team of Student Ministries leaders with this privilege.

Let me encourage you that the discussions in many of the groups after this week’s lesson were some of the best that we have had so far. Many students are already thinking deeply and soberly about these things.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to help them avoid wrong views of sex, marriage, and divorce – it’s to help them embrace God’s beautiful design and purpose for sex and marriage (and hatred of divorce) as a picture of Christ’s faithful love for His church.

Your servant for His glory,
Jacob Hantla

PS Winter Camp is coming up quickly, February 14-16. These concentrated times of teaching, fellowship, discipleship, and fun are often transformative for our students. You will be getting more specifics soon. I spoke at length with Josh Kellso from Gilbert Bible, finalizing many of the details. I am beyond excited for this camp.