Student Ministries

Adultery of Divorce

Jacob Hantla January 19, 2025 Matthew 5:31-32

And let’s pray.

God, that is our prayer—that you would be glorified. Christ, I pray that you would be glorified as we listen to your words that you preached when you were here. The Father’s words ring out in my ears when you, Jesus, were transfigured: “This is my beloved Son; listen to him.” I pray that we would listen to you in your words, that they would make a difference in our lives. I pray that my words would be faithful to yours. Thank you for your words, that they are recorded accurately in Scripture, and for your Spirit that applies them to us. So I pray that we would listen, that you would grant understanding, that we would believe, obey, and trust your word. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Introduction to Matthew 5:31

So we are going to be back in Matthew chapter 5. I’ve printed the outline; if you do not have one of the note-taking outlines, can you raise your hand so Kiki can give that to you? We’re going to be in Matthew 5, verse 31, just working our way through Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount.

In your Bible, if you look down and open it, I want you to have a practice of—even though I’m going to have the words on the screen—seeing God’s words on the page in front of you. So open up your Bible to Matthew chapter 5, verse 31. In some Bibles, you might see a separation between sections—“Jesus teaching on lust,” then “Jesus teaching on divorce.” But as Jesus was teaching, he was just speaking continuously—one word after the next—because this was one sermon.

Do you remember where this sermon started? He started with the Beatitudes, then got to the point where he said, “Unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you’re not getting to heaven.” That was probably devastating if you were viewing righteousness the way the scribes and Pharisees taught it. Then Jesus said, “You have heard it said…” and he explained what they had been teaching: “Don’t murder,” but actually the standard is higher—don’t even be angry, because God cares about the heart, not just outward behavior. Then he said, “Don’t lust,” because a lustful look is like adultery. So view marriage like God does.

That leads us to where we are right now. There’s not a hard break between what he just taught on lust and how he finishes by saying, “It’s better for you to rip out your eye or cut off your limb than have your whole body thrown into hell.” In other words, do whatever you must to avoid being an adulterer, because there’s only one right object of desire, reserved for marriage. There’s only one person you’re to have in that way. Girls, there’s just one man for you in that sense, and if you’re not married yet, you don’t have him yet. Guys, there’s one girl for you, and most of you don’t know who she is yet.

Jesus just called you to a radical view of sexual purity. Now he turns his gaze toward marriage, because the scribes and Pharisees were teaching in a way that didn’t honor marriage. The heart matters—what drives your eyes matters, and so does the heart that drives how you act in marriage. What you think and desire matter, but what you do also matters, because it reveals the heart. That’s why Jesus turns to marriage: the scribes, Pharisees, and many people today (including many who call themselves Christians) don’t view marriage rightly.

What Jesus is about to say was incredibly countercultural then, and it’s countercultural now. Do you know that in the United States, 41% of marriages end in divorce? And 25% of 40-year-olds aren’t married at all. People get married, commit themselves “till death do us part,” and then just divorce. But more and more, people don’t think marriage matters and don’t even get married. You’re growing up in that culture—a low view of marriage—whether through TV, social media, or peers at school. Maybe even some friends at church have a low view of marriage.

So I want us to listen to what Jesus says, so we can bring our view in line with God’s. You might say, “I’m in junior high or high school—why talk about marriage?” Because Jesus talks about it. God the Father’s command at the Transfiguration was, “This is my Son; listen to him.” We need to listen to these words. Even if you’re not married or planning on it, you need to have the same view of marriage God does.

Let’s read Matthew 5:31–32—Jesus’ words. He said:

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

Let’s break that down, one verse at a time, to understand what Jesus is talking about and why it matters.

The Immoral View of Marriage and Divorce

This is from Matthew 5:31. We learn about the immoral view of marriage and divorce in Jesus’s day—and it’s not so different from the view in our day. In first-century Judaism, many rabbis allowed men to divorce their wives for nearly any reason. There’s religious literature saying that if a wife burned a meal or the husband was just dissatisfied, he could send her away, so long as he gave her a certificate of divorce.

That’s sad, because those rabbis didn’t care what God thought about marriage. They just wanted an easy get-out-of-jail-free card, letting the heart disobey God while appearing righteous. How did they get there? By misapplying Deuteronomy 24. That passage was intended to regulate divorce to protect women from that casual discarding. In that day, women often had little provision aside from marriage and property that came through husbands. So Deuteronomy 24 was not saying it’s okay to divorce as long as you give a certificate; Jesus himself clarified in Matthew 19 that it was only a reluctant allowance for hard hearts. But the teachers twisted it into permission.

Today, we see something similar. People have weddings, promise “till death do us part,” and then break it. But in God’s eyes, getting a legal divorce or a certificate doesn’t nullify promises made before Him. God has a high view of marriage. Deuteronomy 24 was actually a strong warning against frivolous divorce; what God gave as a reluctant permission for hard hearts, the teachers turned into a legal right. Jesus came to correct that.

When Jesus says, “Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate,” that’s what the Pharisees and scribes were teaching. But Jesus says, “No, no. If you do that, it reveals a deep heart problem.” The Pharisees said, “As long as I haven’t murdered, I’m okay,” but God cares about anger in the heart. They said, “As long as I haven’t committed adultery, I’m okay,” but Jesus said lust counts, too. They said, “I’ll just divorce my wife and marry someone else, so it won’t be adultery,” but Jesus says it is adultery, because it abandons what marriage truly is.

The real root is the same for lust or divorce: a heart that wants what it wants, when and how it wants, and tries to justify disobedience to God. James says we’re tempted when desire lures us away. That same underlying desire feeds everything from anger or disobedience to lust or unbiblical divorce.

Marriage is not designed to fulfill self-centered desires. Some people think, “As soon as I’m married, my lust problems go away,” or, “I can just move on to another spouse if I’m unhappy.” But the problem is the sinful heart. Jesus calls us to radical purity now. If you’re in junior high or high school, this still matters, because God calls you toward a future with one individual. That’s why you guard your eyes and mind today, aiming for faithfulness to that future spouse, though you don’t even know who it is yet.

When you do date, date in a way that’s mindful of God’s high view of marriage and your commitment to purity. Culture says marriage doesn’t matter or treat it like a short-term contract. If you actually live with a biblical view of marriage, you’ll stand out like salt in a bland meal or a light on a hill. God will be glorified.

Jesus’s High View of Marriage

Continuing in Matthew 5:32, Jesus contrasts the Pharisees’ teaching by saying, “But I say to you…” He emphasizes divorce isn’t a casual option, and unbiblical divorce has serious consequences. Jesus says divorce without biblical grounds doesn’t magically dissolve the marriage. In other words, when you say “I do,” you really mean it in God’s eyes. There’s more than a legal arrangement; God does something supernatural.

Genesis 2:24 says a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. In Matthew 19, Jesus says, “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” God supernaturally makes the two become one, a permanent, exclusive bond. It’s like gluing two pieces of paper together—if you try to pull them apart, you damage them. That’s why Malachi 2:16 says God hates divorce.

Ephesians 5 goes even further, explaining marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church. Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the Church, giving himself up for her, which is the opposite of selfishness. So when we divorce, we misrepresent God’s faithful covenant love. That’s why it’s so serious.

Yes, there are two exception clauses in the New Testament, where divorce and remarriage are not labeled as adultery: one is sexual immorality (actual adultery), and the other is an unbelieving spouse abandoning the believer (1 Corinthians 7). Even then, it’s not commanded. But outside those exceptions, God does not permit divorce and remarriage.

As you consider marriage someday, realize it’s a permanent covenant. It’s a big decision, and not a small matter.

Practical Implications: Purity, Dating, and Holiness

You might be thinking, “I’m a student, not married!” But even if you never marry, you can honor God with a high view of marriage. Don’t idolize marriage, but value it. Don’t play at dating like the world does—where it’s on-and-off, or full of lust. Value marriage by keeping yourself pure. Cultivate a future-focused faithfulness now, so that if and when you do marry, you’ll carry holiness into that union rather than patterns of sin.

Don’t date if you have no intention of marriage; don’t act like you’re married before you are. If you do date, do so under parental guidance and in a way that guards purity—no sexual involvement with eyes or body until marriage. Men, love like Christ loved the Church, giving yourself up for your wife. A huge industry aims to tell you women exist just to fulfill desire. If you buy that lie, you’ll import it straight into marriage and sin against your wife. Instead, have Jesus’ high view of marriage, guarding your heart, eyes, and body now.

The Gospel and Final Exhortation

If you’re a Christian, remember 1 Corinthians 6: Paul says sexually immoral people and adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God. That condemns all of us, because we’ve all sinned and fallen short. But Paul adds, “Such were some of you. You were washed, sanctified, justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” The only way to live up to God’s high standard is through the gospel—forgiveness in Christ, who bought us with a price. Glorify God with your body.

If you’re not a Christian, you might think, “I don’t believe this; I’ll live for myself and turn to God later.” But immorality only promises joy; it brings destruction. True joy is found in God alone. It’s like a fish biting a worm hiding a hook—sin will kill you, ruin your life, and destroy your eternity. Turn to Christ; confess your sins. He’s faithful and just to forgive and cleanse from all unrighteousness.

Let’s break for discussion groups. I know this can be awkward to talk about, but please push through. Let your heart be challenged by God’s design for marriage and purity.