Winter Camp 2026 — Session 1: Wisdom for Godly Friendships (Proverbs)

Opening Exhortation & Prayer

Did you guys catch that last song? It was a prayer.

It’s sort of obvious when we think about it, but that was a prayer. That was awesome. We are all praying to God to ask him to do what only he can do as we are about to sit under his word.

So, Jackson is going to come up, open God’s word. But I want each of you to open God’s word with him. Read along and remember the prayer that we just read. These are not just any words. These are God’s words, the words of life.

So even in your heart right now, pray that God would help you slow your heart rate, slow your breathing, slow your mind, and listen well.

Right? Because we need to be able to listen so that we can understand, so we can believe, so we can trust and obey. Because only through that can we have faith in the God whose words these are.

So let’s pray now and when we’re done, Jackson will come up and open God’s word to us.

God, thank you so much for mountains, for cold air, for games and fun and the bodies you’ve given us to be able to do all these things. For voices to sing, for minds, for ears, and God, I pray that you would use all of those gifts now as we are here during the first session of winter camp.

I pray that you would bring all of this to a culmination now as we listen well. And that as your word is preached, God, make us to believe it. Make us different people because we heard your word tonight. Because we’re up here hearing your word, seeking to honor you, seeking to please you as we know your word, believe it, and then do it. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Can you give Jackson a hand? He is here. This is his very first student ministry sermon. So, take it away. Okay.

[Audio cut off for several minutes here after Jackson begins speaking. Transcript resumes when the audio returns.]

Four Defining Marks of Godly Friendship — 1) Like-mindedness in the Lord (Proverbs 13:20)

Friendship. Four defining marks of godly friendship. And the first one is like-mindedness—like-mindedness, and specifically like-mindedness in the Lord.

Like-mindedness in the Lord. Look at Proverbs 13:20. Is that one not working? Okay. Can I have another microphone? I got three now. Great.

Like-mindedness. Okay. Open to Proverbs 13:20. Okay. This is the theme verse for the camp. Listen to this and take it to heart.

He who walks with the wise will be wise. But the friend of fools, or the companion of fools, will suffer harm.

It’s pretty clear. It’s not hard to understand.

Do you want to be wise? Do you want God’s wisdom? Do you want it to go well for you in life? Do you want to be gaining wisdom and the blessing of submitting to God’s wisdom in your life? Here’s the application: then be around people who have it.

If you lack wisdom, if you need wisdom, if you want to be growing in wisdom, find the people who have wisdom and be around them. Spend time with them.

Right? It will not help someone who wants to be wise, who wants to grow, to spend all his time around individuals, or with influences, that will entice them away from wisdom, away from honoring God, and into folly and sin—into going after idols—right? And that will lead to harm. You will suffer harm. The suffering and heartache and difficulty comes along with that.

But if you want wisdom, you must be giving your time to those who also want God’s wisdom and are committed to getting it right. And we want to have that pursuit—the pursuit of God, understanding of his word. That needs to be our aim. And so we find people who have the same aim.

The word here for friend or companion—depending on your translation—the idea is: who are you involved with? Who are you mixed up with? Who have you united yourself to? That’s what we’re talking about.

The wise person will say, “I see some people who have wisdom. I can recognize it. And so, I’m going to go get all mixed up with them. I’m going to be in their life. I want them to be in my life. I want them to rub off on me.” Right?

The fool, again, is exposing him or herself to danger, and they don’t see it. The fool will walk with fools and there’s trouble up ahead. There’s warning signs flashing and they miss the message. There’s harm coming. It will not go well with you. Don’t think that it can. Don’t think you can circumvent what God’s word says and that it will go well for you. It won’t.

So like-mindedness—specifically again like-mindedness in pursuing God, pursuing his wisdom, pursuing godliness and holiness—are crucial for a godly friendship.

That is the first step to a godly friendship. You need two people who want godliness, right? That is the very first step of a friendship that pleases God.

So, we’re aiming to be rooted in the Lord first and foremost, and then rooted together.

“Iron Sharpens Iron” (Proverbs 27:17)

Turn to Proverbs 27:17. You might know this verse.

Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

This is the same word—can be translated friend, companion. A wise friend helps another, and in turn that friend helps and strengthens the other, when each needs encouragement, strength, they need endurance, they need sharpening, right? And so they rub up against each other and they sharpen one another.

All right? Think about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for a second. This happened to me recently.

Okay. First of all, the right way to eat a PB&J is you cut it right down the middle, not diagonal. It’s just—it’s a fact. Okay.

But I want you to imagine you’re trying to cut your PB&J with a dull instrument. You don’t have a sharp knife. This happened to me recently because I didn’t want to go wash the knife, and so I used a spoon, and it kind of deformed and crushed up my sandwich. It wasn’t exactly what I needed. Didn’t help me. No, my sandwich got all squished.

And we don’t want to be plastic spoons in each other’s lives, right? We actually want to be useful to sharpen each other. We don’t want to be unuseful—the wrong tool for the job—right? We want to be intentional.

So iron sharpens iron. We need to be like-minded in that sense, in pursuing the Lord.

Right? Now when we talk about like-mindedness, okay, this doesn’t mean—what I’m not saying is—you can’t have acquaintances or family members even who don’t know Christ, and so you shun them completely and utterly. I’m not saying that. Probably all of us have family members who don’t know the Lord, right?

But what we’re talking about is: who do you root yourself with? Who do you invest your time into?

One commentator I read said, “I might have a bad acquaintance, but I will never have a wicked companion. I will never root my life with someone who is not committed to pursuing God and pursuing holiness.”

Right? So, as God’s people, we’re striving for this again: to be rooted in the Lord first and foremost and then rooted together.

Okay? Is this your desire? It ought to be. We ought to think about our friendships like this. Again, it is a lot more than “Who do we have the most fun hanging out with?” Fun is a blessing. I already said I loved the game. It was a blast.

Okay? But we’re talking about who are we connecting with so that we can be a spiritual benefit to them, and they can be a spiritual benefit to us. This is why this is so important. Again, what you choose—who you choose to influence your life now—will set you on a trajectory for the rest of your life. Determines the direction and the angle, right? What influences are you bringing in? What friends are you bringing in to your life?

Are you thinking to be that kind of friend? Are you intentional? Those are the questions we need to think about.

2) Sacrificial Love

Okay. So the next point on our outline is sacrificial love. This is the second defining mark of a godly friendship—sacrificial love in relationships.

There can be challenges, right? People might not see eye to eye. People sin. We have weaknesses, and there are circumstances outside of our control even that can make relationships hard.

But if we have the attitude of sacrificial love—if we genuinely want what God wants for our friends, right? And what does he want? Their good, their holiness, their sanctification. Okay? If we want that, and we’re willing to sacrifice for that person’s good, then any obstacle, any hardship can be overcome, and one another’s good in the relationship can be maximized. Okay.

Covering a Transgression (Proverbs 17:9)

Flip over to Proverbs 17:9. Okay. Proverbs 17:9.

He who covers a transgression seeks love. But he who repeats a matter separates close companions.

So again, in a situation where someone has been sinned against by a friend, the loving thing to do often would be to cover it up. That is to take the transgression, bear it. You don’t get angry. You don’t seek revenge. You don’t get bitter, but you actually lay aside any desire to get even—any desire to be justified, get revenge—because those things will actually ruin your relationships. Those aren’t love. No, you forgive and you cover.

It reminds me of a story where a thief was released from prison, and after being set free from prison, he’s taken in by a bishop who lives nearby. It was a church leader called bishops back at that time. And this bishop took in this thief, cared for him, showed him hospitality.

Well, soon the thief steals some silver and he runs off. Before too long, he’s caught by the police. So, the police take him back to the bishop’s house. They knock on the door. They want to confirm: is this silver yours? Is it stolen? And the bishop says, “No, it’s not stolen because I’ve decided to give it to him. Here, take my candlesticks as well.”

Right? The bishop forgave and actually gave more of himself in order to cover the sin of this man—to forgive it and cover it.

But loving a friend doesn’t mean that we always cover sin. We don’t ignore sin. Certainly, we don’t want to say, “That person’s sin is not my problem. I don’t have to worry about them. I have to worry about myself.” Besides, it might be awkward to bring it up. It’s not love either.

Sometimes loving a friend means actually you need to confront patterns of sin in people you care about. Right? We want to do this with, again, love as our motive.

It’s no fun to do that. Right? That’s not enjoyable. It’s not easy. But because you care, because you love, you’re willing to step into an uncomfortable situation to say, “I love you. I want to help you. Can I walk with you? Can I help you grow and repent of this sin so that it doesn’t mark your life anymore? Would you let me do that?”

We need to be that way. And frankly, we need our friends to do that for us, right?

Faithful Wounds (Proverbs 27:6)

Turn to Proverbs 27:6. Okay. Proverbs 27:6:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.”

Again, our desire in our friendships ought to be that we are all being conformed into the image of Christ, right? We’re being made more like Christ.

Sometimes, again, the things that our friends need most is a wound. Again, it sounds hard. It might even sound unloving to wound somebody. That’s not usually what I set out to do—to hurt the people I care about.

No, this is a faithful wound. This is a loving, faithful, gentle rebuke of sin.

We don’t do this because we’re angry—personal offense. “You sinned against me and so now I’m upset and I’m coming to you.” It’s not that at all.

We do this because we love them and we want them to have the blessing of a life that honors God.

Right? I want you to imagine your friend is riding their bike down a hill. Okay? They’re on a trail, and what they don’t realize is right around the bend there’s a cliff. The trail stops, and they are flying. They are screaming down that hill.

How dare we think, “It might be a little awkward if I try to stop him.” No, we wouldn’t care. We would jump in front of the bike and let him run us over to stop him. We don’t want him to go off the cliff.

Might hurt me. But in this scenario, I don’t care. I don’t care if it hurts me. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable. As long as I can stop my friend from going off the cliff, we’ve got to be that way. Friend, I love you, and I don’t want your sin to take you off a cliff.

Okay? And again, when a friend wounds us—when a friend comes to us to help us—don’t resent it, right? Don’t be upset about that. If a friend comes to you with sin, you ought to know: that person loves me. They’re helping me. They care about me. They’ve proven that they are a faithful friend.

Doing Good When It’s in Your Power (Proverbs 3:27)

Okay. Proverbs 3:27. Let’s flip over there.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Okay. There’s a general principle there. A godly friend will seek to do whatever good is necessary, needful, for the moment. Whatever situation they find themselves, they want to do good for the other person, right? Whatever this moment requires, whatever this friend needs at this time—that’s what I want to do.

So, think about your relationships. Think about your friendships. Okay? Do you recognize in your life a care—thinking about your friends in this way? Do you demonstrate love for your friends?

Not just having fun, right? Do you demonstrate love for the people around you? You ought to.

3) Steadfastness (Proverbs 17:17)

Third point on your outline is steadfastness. Okay. The third mark of a godly friendship is steadfastness.

Steadfastness is a mark of godly friendships because someone is not there when their friend needs them most. Are you a friend? Are you a friend if you will betray or neglect or not care about someone else? Do you forget about your friendships the moment it costs you something?

Turn to Proverbs 17:17. We’re going to see the steadfastness of a godly friend.

“A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.”

See here that a steadfast love—faithful, true—is the bedrock of solid relationships. And just recognize the value of a faithful friend who loves at all times. Oh, he’s like a brother who’s born into your family, right?

In times of adversity, when things are hard, who do we often go to? Go to our family, right? Might ask a sibling, our parents for help when we need it—help us solve some problem.

When sorrow comes, people often gather with their families. They spend time together. They encourage each other because we instinctively know that God put us into families for things like that.

Solomon says, “A friend who will love at all times is just like that. A friend who will stand by you in the hardest of times, who’s a source of encouragement, strength, comfort—that is a faithful friend. That is the kind of friend that we must strive to be.”

I remember a story from when I was in high school, and I saw the opposite all around me. I knew of two people who conspired to steal some money from another student, and they did. They stole it. And those two guys were thick as thieves. You would have thought they were best friends. They weren’t actually best friends before that, but now they were best friends—for about a day till one of them got caught.

And guess what? He ratted. He said it was the other guy. Now they’re enemies—or they were enemies.

Look, they didn’t care for each other. The moment there became a loss—a potential loss for them—something to gain (“I can get out of trouble”)—they turned on each other, right?

But first of all, their love for each other—their friendship—was not based on a like-minded desire to please God. But secondly, it was fickle and it flamed out just as quickly as it started. Once adversity came, it was over.

This is because being a steadfast friend is founded on sacrificial love, like we just talked about. You love someone and so you endure. You’re loyal.

Fairweather friends are not steadfast because they don’t love sacrificially. They’re in the relationship for what they can get out of it, not what they can give—not how they can be a benefit to their friend.

When they can’t gain anything anymore, that relationship is no longer useful. Don’t be that way. We ought not be that way.

True friend: someone who stands by someone else when the going is easy, or when the going gets tough.

Sometimes friends who were close at one point become separated by arguments, strife. Steadfastness—faithfulness to a friend—is so rare once someone’s feelings get hurt. But a faithful friend is going to drive right through that because they love.

Don’t you see this with Christ? He’s such a good example of this, okay? He’s about to go to the cross. He’s enduring the agony of knowing what’s coming. He’s in the garden. He says, “Stay awake and pray. Pray.”

His friends couldn’t pray. They fell asleep while he was facing the most significant anguish of his life—the wrath of God poured out on him. His friends fell asleep. Then they deserted him when the soldiers came.

He knew Peter would deny him just a little while. And do you remember what he said when he was being arrested? He said, “Who are you looking for?” When they said Jesus of Nazareth, he said, “Okay, then let my friends go their way. Don’t touch them. If you’re not looking for them, let them go.”

Even in their unfaithfulness, in his toughest moment, he is faithfully loving his friends. He remained steadfast.

We have to model that same mind, right? We need to be committed to pleasing the Lord in these things first, and then loving our friends—caring for them no matter how severe the cost or how difficult our own circumstances in our life are. Right? That’s our aim. It needs to be.

4) Encouragement (in the Lord)

Okay. The fourth point on your outline: encouragement. Encouragement—support—the defining mark of a godly friendship. Encouragement. This is so important.

And I don’t mean, “It’ll all be okay,” right? “Things will get better.” No. No. No. I mean encouragement in the Lord—in God’s word—between two people as we’ve already stated who are like-minded to pursue God and to pursue him together, right? They want to be pleasing to him, be a benefit to each other.

But imagine you have two friends who have that desire. They both do. And no words ever come out of their mouth. How are they going to communicate that to each other? Will they be as helpful to each other as they ought to be if they remain silent?

Like what I’m not saying here is just have fun with other Christians, right? We have to recognize that a core element of our friendships ought to be encouraging one another in the Lord—talking about the Lord with our mouths—bringing truth to each other.

Think about the circumstances that have come up in your life that you need to be strengthened for. You’ve needed strength—that you’ve needed help.

Right? When there’s sadness, a downcastness, a depression, we need help. When I’m anxious, fearful, worried about the future, or something else, I need help.

A Good Word for Anxiety (Proverbs 12:25)

Look at Proverbs 12:25. Anxiety, fear, worry is certainly one of those things that we need help with regularly in the Christian life. Okay. Proverbs 12:25.

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

Haven’t you felt the draining pull of worry on your heart, right? It drags you down, makes it difficult to think about what’s true or anything other than what you’re fearing, right? And we can get into a downward spiral of sinful thinking—of not trusting God. And sometimes we could really use a good word.

Look, we regularly need people. We need people in our lives who can bring a good word—a word that helps us to think rightly again. A word that turns our gaze, our focus, from our concerns to the God who’s bigger than all of them, right? I need that.

And anxiety is the example here, but it’s a great example because of how prevalent it is in our hearts. But this extends to all the problems and sins that we face, right? We need God’s truth.

We need good truth. We need a friend who knows it. We need a friend who loves enough to open their mouth and say it.

Here’s what else that means: if I want to be a good friend, I need to know God’s truth. I need to be in my Bible. I need to be equipped to help someone else out of the overflow of what God is teaching me. Right? So, we need to know God’s truth.

We don’t just need to know it. I want to tell you something else you need to understand. We need to be rock solid convinced that what I need right now in my sin is truth. There is no other answer. There is no other wisdom. There is no other place to seek what I need. I need God’s word.

I need to have that conviction driven so deep down into my heart that I’m not tempted to go anywhere else. I need to have the conviction that that’s what my friends need. I can’t offer them something else—something coming from my own mind, from worldly wisdom. No, I need God’s truth.

That is the means that God has given to Christians. I need it. I need to give it.

We need to believe that all Scripture is profitable for teaching and for reproof and correction and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped—thoroughly equipped for every good work.

So this requires a friend who knows the truth, who loves, and has the conviction that what we need is truth. And then we’re ready. We’re ready to encourage.

Words that Heal (Proverbs 15:4)

Look at Proverbs 15:4.

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but perversion in it breaks the spirit.

A tongue that can bring a friend the comfort of God’s word—truth from God’s word—brings life. It restores.

Right? I need friends like that. I need to have my soul renewed and strengthened by God’s truth many, many times.

I’m thinking about times that I have needed to be encouraged, and often times this person didn’t know, but I needed to be encouraged—strengthened—to pursue God more diligently. I needed to be encouraged to have truth in my mind. And I’ve been given life. I’ve been given strength by the healing tongue of a friend.

Sometimes we’re weak. Right? And when we are weak, we are in greater danger of believing a tongue with perverse, untrue words. Right? These perverse words are the words of someone who is leading astray.

Rather than being strengthened, that person is made weaker. It breaks the spirit even more. They’re broken. They’re left farther in the wrong direction than they were before.

Open Reproof & Faithful Wounds (Proverbs 27:5–6)

Okay. Turn to Proverbs 27. Look at verses five and six.

Better is reproof that is revealed than love that is hidden.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

And we read this one earlier.

Sometimes encouragement comes from the other direction. Sometimes I need to be encouraged to put off sin, right? We need to be this for each other. We need one another in our lives.

So we root with God’s people, right? Remember: root determines fruit. Root determines fruit.

So I want you to think about your life. I want you to think about your friendships. Which of these attributes mark you as a friend?

If someone were to ask your friends, “What is so and so like?” do they display a like-minded zeal in pursuing the Lord? Do you see sacrificial love in their life for the people around them? Do you see them steadfastly caring for and doing good? Do you see them providing truth for their friends?

Right? And then I want you to next take a catalog of your friends. Might even be worth it to jot down who are the people that you’ve rooted your life with. Think of faces and names. Who are your closest friends?

Are they like-minded in pursuing the Lord? Are they helping you in that? Is that their desire? Do they want to love in the ways that God’s word prescribes? Do they want to encourage the people around them with God’s word?

Pray these are questions that you will consider not just tonight, but over the course of the weekend—when you get home—that you’re thinking about this, because it’s so important. It is so important.

We need to strive to be rooted in the Lord and rooted together. So, let’s pray.

Closing Prayer

God, we thank you so much for your word. We thank you for the book of Proverbs. We thank you for the wisdom that you provide. God, we need it. We need your wisdom.

So please, I pray as we reflect on these passages and on these truths tonight and tomorrow, I pray that you would drive them in like nails—fixed fast—so that we can honor you in our relationships. We can be a spiritual benefit to the church and the people around us.

God, please give us grace to do these things. We love you. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.